


Candlelight

by kirschtrash



Series: JeanMarco Week [4]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Extended Metaphors, Feels, JeanMarco Week, M/M, Marco Bodt - Freeform, POV Jean Kirstein, day 4: candlelight, fucking depressing, jeanmarco, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2014-10-23
Packaged: 2018-02-22 07:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2499926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirschtrash/pseuds/kirschtrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I always pictured people like a candle's light: only living to outshine others.</p><p>But Marco wasn't like that. He lived for others; he burned for others. And that's why he burned the brightest, out of all the others. He burned the boldest, and bravest.</p><p>Until his flame died out."</p><p>Jeanmarco week, day 4: Candlelight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Candlelight

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry. I don't even know why. I just am.

Listen to this _**[song](http://dl.slaand.com/music/playlist-2/Skillet%20-%20Fire%20And%20Fury.mp3)**_ while reading this.

 

* * *

 

 

I gripped Marco’s ashes, staring in to the pier, towering over my knelt frame. The fire roared in the night, the flames daring to reach the stars.

If you think about it, people are like candles; their personality shines through them, and throughout their short lives, all they try to do is outshine others.

But Marco wasn’t like that.

I always pictured him like a tall candle; with his bold and bright personality burning through everyone else’s, making him stand out the most. But the more amazing thing was this:

He never worked too hard to outshine others; he would help other’s from putting out theirs.

He was always the helper kind; he couldn’t come to think that he would let go of the chance to help someone in distress. It was a way how he outshone the most.

I stared in to the pier again, contemplating the fact that he is gone; Marco’s magnificent light, has finally died out.

Too soon.

_Too soon._

I thought this over and over, as tears fell one after the other.

This was why I fucking hated the world; people who deserved to live, who deserved all the love, and deserved all the happiness this world has to offer, are the ones who perish.

While ungrateful assholes like me, who deserve nothing less than pain, survive. Only we cowardly people live, while other brave people who deserve life, die.

He was amazing; he was flawless in its truest meaning. He was a good man, with a brave heart, and a will stronger than any other. Along with his amazing skills, the amount of trust he could put in others was breath-taking.

His candlelight burned bolder and brighter than all the others. It flickered in tough times, when he joined the army, when he had to undergo tough training, when he had to see another fail for Humanity, and many more.

But his beautiful, bold flame kept alight; with more vigor and passion for fighting and surviving than before, if nothing more.

Until it finally snuffed out

_Too soon._

I wipe my face with the back of my hand, and look in to the roaring fire of the pier.

Right in there, everyone’s remnants were being burned. All there snuffed out flames were put alight once more, in respect and remembrance of our lost ones.

Including Marco’s.

I remember him saying once:

"We are gonna make it through all this training, and we’re gonna make it to the Military Police Brigade; I know it, Jean. I can feel it."

I recall him looking beautiful with all the tenacity and fueled energy rushing through him then, which made me feel the same confidence he felt. I bet his flame roared inside his heart; the flames topped with adrenaline, and confidence in himself, as the flames licked at his soul.

But little did he know.

_Little did he… Know…_

I choked on a sob, as I held his ashes in a death grip. Gasping through sobs and tears, I looked at his ashes.

This was all that left of him. This was all that was left of the mighty candle-light that lit boldly in this cruel world, now nothing but a pile of dust.

A tear fell on to my palm, right next to the powdery ash in the center.

He has to mean something more than this. He was so much more than just a pile of dust, ready to be flown away with every other forgotten memory. I had to do something of his soul; of his memory.

Its time I rose the fire burning inside of me; up till now, all that was left was a little, cold flame; the arrogant, young attitude in me was all snuffed out by all the loss and grief I had to suffer.

But it was time I changed all that.

It was time I rose from my remnants, and ablaze the fire inside of me.

I should set ablaze my fire, to support Marco’s memory; I wanted to carry his flame within me, his soul with mine, as I worked to change this world, just like Marco promised.

For Marco. For that amazing candlelight he carried once.

It was time I proved myself to the world. It was time I showed this merciless world that my candlelight will never die out.

_It will never die out._

_It will never die out._

I promised myself this over and over again, as I finally made my decision.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I had to let this out of my system. I hope I did it justice. Do enjoy this; this fic was something I needed.


End file.
